bigredjed
Oct. 9th, 2008
02:34 pm - Haven't posted in a while...but will really quickly
Things have been coo coo. I am in grad school and love it - well kinda. I got married this year! Yay! Went to Disney for our honeymoon, which was nice. Started working for the vna full-time and making more money!!! I likes that!!! Trying to lose weight, but that's a never ending battle. I realize I am fine when I am not under stress (which is rare). I will keep trying though, nothing wrong in that! The one positive in regards to my 'relationship' with food is, despite me making poor choices from time to time, I am starting to sway more towards not making the worse choices. Prior to eating, I feel like I am at least 'thinking' about how I will feel afterwards and making the association to whatever emotional state I am in. I figure when things settle down (read below), I will be a-ok.
Some sad news. We found out yesterday that they are sending my step-father home on hospice. Him and my mom signed DNR papers because the MDs feel his cancer has progressed to a point where nothing will help. The unfortunate thing is he has been in excruciating pain the past month, but it's been worse the past 2.5 weeks. His treatment team hasn't been stellar in the pain management department - IMO. The oncologist is giving him 2-4 weeks to live. I am relieved because he knows this. It has always frustratew me when the person dieing doesn't know (unless they are confused/demented). I am glad he will be able to pass away at home. That way he won't run the risk of dyeing alone. I have viewed death differently the past few years. Yes, it's still sad, but I figure the person is as dead as the living make them. After watching a few people die in the hospital and taking care of them after the fact, I can't believe that once the body has died, there is nothing left. I feel that death is still part of someone's life and it's a time to remember them (good, bad, or otherwise). I accepted his death a long time ago. The part that is surreal is that there is a timeframe.
May. 15th, 2008
May. 13th, 2008
12:21 pm - Yay
I haven't posted in a long time. Yesterday I requested to go per diem at Milton Hospital and they accepted! They don't want to lose me - which I was flattered. I was flattered because it is their "policy" that new nurses need to work there for 1 year before going to per diem status. I am going per diem because I accepted a full-time position with the VNA I work for. It sounds like I got an awesome route to case manage - Brighton/Brookline area - with high functioning people. I will be making an insane amount of money compared to floor nursing. I am giving myself two years, and hopefully in that two years I will pay off all of my credit card debt, pay a chunk of the car off, and save money for a down payment for a condo. In two years I will be done with my masters, so after that it's an open road.
Dec. 15th, 2006
02:26 pm
Have you ever had one of those days where your head feels like it is about to explode? For the past week my head has had so much pressure in it. It's not a headache though, just pressure. The only time it is relieved is when I am home, lieing in bed, watching TV before I fall asleep.
I know it has to do with work, school, taking my final, and worrying about the boards, and feeling like I have no lazy time - all piled on one another. Also, I haven't been getting much sleep lately (mostly my fault). I just want to go home and curl up on the couch with kitty cat and a nice blanket.
Nov. 14th, 2006
11:35 am
I haven't posted in a while, so here it goes. I know a few of you can relate when I say that I want to up and leave my job. Not sure if I am feeling frustrated because I have been in this job too long, that there is *some* light at the end of the tunnel, because of school on top of work...I don't know. Maybe it's a combination of things. When I am at work, my chest feels so tight, almost like I need to exhale, but I can't. Every time the phone rings, I want to pick it up and hang up on the person who is calling. I would guess that 75% of the people who call here do not need to be seen here, but can be seen in their community. Most of the people who call our line are fixated on being seen at MGH. Whatever! Go get a hobby!
My clinical is finally over and we were *suppossed* to start at a community health center. Since BHCC is so wonderful, they couldn't find us a location and now we are stuck doing some rediculous project. We have to work in groups (amongst the people who were at the same clinical site for med/surg), and go observe at a community health clinic. We have to meet tonight at school with our clinical instructor and she has us scheduled to meet from 6:30-8:30pm...now, we will probably not stay that whole time, but there is a possibility. I feel like since this school couldn't find us a community placement, we are now stuck doing 'busy work' to make up for it. All I am concerned about at this point in time is passing the NCLEX so I can get the hell out of my job and make more money.
Last night I told my best friend, who is in school in HI, that I was going to go see her from 3/23-3/29. I want to go so bad, but as I thought about it, I felt more and more uneasy about booking the trip. I felt uneasy because it was going to cost me $1400 (airfare and hotel) that would have been cha-chinged on my credit card. I emaield her this morning to let her know I am not booking it right now. I figured that by March 23, I would have passed the NCLEX, had a job lined up, and would have been pulling in more money. But what IF I didn't pass? Then I would be stuck with at credit card that has $1400 more on it, and I am not making anymore money than I am now. No can do. The good news is, I priced a trip to HI in May for the same amount of time, at the same hotel I was going to book at for March and it is $200 cheaper!
Jul. 25th, 2006
11:04 pm - I have to share this because it is funny
B, T, H and myself go to lunch. We get onto the subject of gym etiquette. We go back and forth about the rediculousness that probably exists at all gyms. For example, the gym I go to has a 'no grunting policy,' because it IS disruptive, and I personally feel there is no need. I told a story about a few guys who do grunt, but it's not in the gym...it's in the locker room! I don't understand. It's as if they want us to 'look'. I want to say to them, "we get you have a penis sir," but I don't. LOL.
But Tricia couldn't be beat with her story. She belongs to a gym in the Cambridge area that is all female. Over time I have heard how a lot of the women there are all about their nakedness - fabulous. I guess there was one middle aged, long grey haired woman(who was probably a Cambridge social work LOL), who when T walked into the locker room was literally standing in the full length mirror...eating a BAKED POTATO! I had to have her repeat that...which she did and it validated that the lady was in fact eating a baked potato. Couldn't breath and almost had a stream of kee kee running down my leg. Who eats a baked potato in the locker room...NAKED!!! LOLOLOL. Now, I also had to confirm: there was no bacon bits and sour cream. It was literally a potato that was baked and she was eating it like a candy bar. I guess at this gym there are signs encouraging people to not use strong shampoos, perfumes, etc., because some people's noses are too sensitive. I said, "Imagine the sign: No shampooes, perfumes, or Baked Potatos. Thank you for your cooperation." LOLOL.
When I worked on the psych floor, this baked potato business would have been more of the norm, but it's a locker room LOL...HILLARIOUS!
Jul. 20th, 2006
11:59 pm
I want to thank everyone for listening to me bitch and complain about my current work situation. I had a great talk with Bekah tonight when I went to drop her off about this mess. I think the healthiest thing for me to do from this point forward is to not care anymore. This will be hard for me, but I am going to try to just focus on the patients that call my line and the work I have to do only. I am going to ignore how S speaks to her patients, I am going to ingnore D's ability to mismanage triage. I realized in my conversation with B tonight that essentially D uses me as a scapegoat so he doesn't have to be the bad guy. I have a gut feeling that D has pointed out to J the push back or "concerns" he has gotten from me, thus making him the "good guy."
Now, just because I am taking this new stance, doesn't mean I won't make fun of it! C'mon now...I have to cope with it somehow LOL. Like, when D read me an email he got from L stating that "he is the manager and it's his call," referring to if J should stay in triage or do various taks in the dept. He said, "I don't want to be put in that block and make that decision." What I wanted to say was, "Do you mean you don't want to be put in that POSITION? WTF is a block D? Who is putting you in a BLOCK? Well, maybe if you didn't have m-a-n-a-g-e-r next to your name, they wouldn't expect you to make a decision now, would they?"
At this point the rediculousness and the lack of commen sense on how to manage is laughable. I think the MGH's Department of Psychiatry's new motto for management should be, "If it IS broke, DON'T FIX IT." A new motto for patient care should be, "Treat 'em like the loaf you pinched this mornin'. "
Jul. 11th, 2006
11:26 am - Do you ever wonder why....
Do you ever wonder why when you are waiting for an elevator, and the button is lit up, why people who come over to wait after you feel the need to hit the button - especially multiple times? I don't understand. Do they think if they hit it, the elevator will arrive much faster? Or, do they think the elevator secretly is taking an inventory of how many people are going to get on it once it arrives at the floor you/they are waiting on? They must press the button so they are accounted for?
Sometimes I think people are just plain dumb or lack patience. I really do think their rationale is that if they keep hitting the elevator button, it WILL bypass all other floors and go to the floor THEY are waiting on. In my head, I usually refer to these people as either Mr. or Mrs. MeMine. Because it is all about them and if they hit the button...the elevator will come, but only because THEY pressed it.
When this does happen, I also want to say, "Do you think I am waiting here for the fun of it? Do you think I like to just look at all the elevator doors and the little sign that indicates which floor the elevator is on? Do you think I forgot what the function of an elevator is? That's a big fat "no" Mrs. MeMine. I don't know about any of you all, but I just Loooovvvee to look at elevator doors. When I wake up on the weekends, I ask myself, "What do you want to do today?" Then I say, "Gee, I just want to watch elevator doors, buttons, and the signs that say which floor it is on." LOL. I just find great humor in this LOL.
Jul. 10th, 2006
09:53 am
I haven't posted in a few days because a) we lost our internet service (damn comcast is coming this afternoon to fix it) and b) becuase we finally had Bekah's surprise going away party!!! FOr those of you who don't know, Bekah is going to school in Hawaii, so we threw a Luau themed party.
I think the party was a success. It was loud at times, which is the way daddy likes it! It also got really really hot around the time we started doing the limbo and pin the coconut bra on the hula girl. I turned the a/c on around noon time and it did cool the house down, but I guess when you pack 20 or so people in a small space, all that body heat overtakes the room LOL. We bought door prizes. For whoever won the limbo, they got Spam. We decided that whoever got their coconut bra closest and fartherst from the hula girls tata's, they too would get a door prize. Jackie got her's the furthest and won a pineapple, and I think Chrissy got hers the closest and got.....SPAM!LOL.
We had tons of food. It was a fat girl's dream with the amount of food we had. Danielle's husband Mike made the best Hawaiian themed food, and we provided the white trash dip, chips, etc. Oh and booz! I bought so much booz (Corona's, Mike's Hard Lemonade, and Twisteds)and they barely got touched!!! So, if anybody wants to get sloshed, come to Quincy!!! LOL.
We had tons of laughs, of course the biggest one was at Bekah's and my expense. Picture it, Bekah and I are in coconut bras, have a leih on, I have a grass skirt on, etc. So, I am sitting on one of our fold out IKEA chairs and Bekah decides to come over and sit on my left knee. Well, I feel the chair start to sink and lean. Kaa-boom...our fat asses are on the groud, her between my legs. It was in slow motion. It had the potential to be much worse, because all I saw was our speaker and Chrissy's ass. Luckily we just hit the floor. I will try to post a pic, because Michael was ready with his camera, and sure enough got the pic! LOL. I actually saw the picture and it really looked like we were caught in the act, but fully clothed LOL.
OK...enough for now. I am leaving work at 3pm today to wait for the Comcast man ;-)
Jul. 2nd, 2006
07:00 pm - My first entry
Hello everyone! This is my first entry ever on Live Journal and I am kind of excited to read everyone elses. Well, Michael and I just got back from a nice weekend in Springfield. For those of you who do not know where that is, it is farther west than Worcestor. I got to visit with my long time friend, Laura, her husband Mark, and her unbelievably cute 4 year old son, Reid. I wanted to take him home with me, but then I would have been arrested for kid knapping LOL. Laura and the gang are moving to Colorado and I am so excited for her, but kinda sad at the same time. I don't get out to Western, MA much, but when her and I get together, it's cah-razy!!! Non-stop laughing. Oh well, at least it's a 4 hour flight from Boston!
Well, I am going to sign off. I know this was a boring entry, but hopefully over time they will get better!
